Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
