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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
