If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
