Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
