remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
