No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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