they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
