I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
