I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
