let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
