Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
