Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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