ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
