i jhust puked up my retainher.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
