I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
