she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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