Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize