he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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