Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i permit you to call me
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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