I must be too annoying 4 u.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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