you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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