I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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