your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
