U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
