How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
