i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
