Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You ruined the universe
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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