since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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