I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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