Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize