That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
