WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
