I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
