Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
