Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
