I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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