At least make sure they are 18
Why
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
