He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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