I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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