She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
