careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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