He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't deserve a penis
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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