I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
