piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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