some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
