i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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