Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize