he told me I talked like a deaf person
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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