Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
