so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I didn't notice because vodka
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
