When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize