Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...

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(318): View more from Louisiana

That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.

Fav 17 5496 1458
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(480): View more from Arizona

New game: find the sober person in Tbell

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.

Fav 9 1706 992
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(719): View more from Colorado

Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?

Fav 7 769 1992
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(812): View more from Indiana

You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face

Fav 3 984 527
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(314): View more from Missouri

So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.

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