He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize