this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
