Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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