More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
