In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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