I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
